​​"ACCEPTING WHAT GOD ALLOWS"

My Morning Devotional Reading

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Since Christmas there have been 5 deaths of people I know and some I am very fond of. Death has a way of reducing you to think about life and all those things that go with living. Over the last 10 days I have been challenged on every side with some of these deaths; I have cried, prayed, stayed in bed all day, fasted and other things that allowed me to self heal and deal with each situation one at a time. 

 

As an elder, pastor, teacher, preacher, I have had to pause and deal with my low minutes over the last 19 days. I have pondered last conversations with some of these individuals and searched to understand how I could have known that the last time we spoke would be the last we would speak. I have cried, jogged, went to the gym to work out and just about everything to keep me occupied, but at the end of the day my heart was still hurting and intermittent bouts of crying remained.

 

Today was the first time I didn't cry. I intentionally kept busy so that I wouldn't become sad and slip into that sadness that is overwhelming and exhausting. Tonight as I write this reflection I am cognizant of how one can allow grief to consume them. I kept thinking that I needed to get it together as I have my profession to return to tomorrow and deal with holding  space for and with people that I will need to minister to who are dying. I had to think of death as fortuitous and not anything else in order to regain my momentum as a chaplain, pastor, elder, care-giver, friend.

 

I will rest tonight, knowing that the power of life and death lies in the hand of our God who always does things right (even if I struggle with the right of it).

 

Let us remember that each of us are here for a reason and a season. Let us live life to the fullest everyday and move forward, daily doing and being the best we can be and trusting in a power that is bigger than you and I.

 

Moving forward, my reflections will come on Sunday's rather than Wednesdays.

 

Namaste

Akosua McCray